


Love the Game

by JustALittle1



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:30:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustALittle1/pseuds/JustALittle1
Summary: Aaron and Robert are both professional footballers at the top of their game. Football AU.





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron Dingle was known as the bad boy of football. It wasn’t a reputation he wanted or one he particularly thought he deserved but somehow he had earned it. It had started when he was 18, he had been signed to one of the biggest clubs in the country at 16 and quickly made his way onto the first team ahead of others who had been waiting longer than him but in this world talent trumped length of service. He had gained such nicknames as the wonderkid and allstar and he had soaked up each and every minute of it.

However, shortly after his 18th birthday things changed. One stupid night out at one stupid night club, too many drinks and a rival football club fan had almost wrecked his career. The lad had obviously had too many drinks in him and was shouting the odds. Finally he managed to hit one of Aaron’s weak points bringing up his mother and how she had left him as a child. Aaron had lashed out and next thing he knew the lad was on the floor with a messed up face and Aaron had a bloodied hand. Unfortunately for him a photographer for one of those trashy rag newspapers that housewives read had witnessed the whole thing and snapped the pictures to go along with it. Suddenly Aaron was public enemy #1. It seemed like the whole country hated him. The lad had played the victim card as well, taking Aaron to court claiming it was all completely unprovoked. Which of course it wasn’t but Aaron had no way of proving it and the photos spoke for themselves.

Aaron pleaded guilty to ABH, on his lawyers advice, due to his fame and money to hire an expensive lawyer he was able to get away with a fine and 20 hours of community service. Although it wasn’t much he had wrecked his reputation and almost lost his entire career. During the next transfer window he was sold to a team much lower down the league and lost all of his sponsors. Having been labelled a thug he was everything the football association tried to avoid their reputation being associated with. He had never regretted anything more in his life and it had taken 5 years to build his reputation back up to somewhat respectable.

Now aged 23 he was playing for a team that was ranked 3rd in the league, his best friend Adam Barton was also on the team and he was finally enjoying his career. The world cup was coming up in the summer and he knew team selection was taking place the following Monday but he wasn’t holding out much hope. Even though it had been 5 years that night still followed him around like a bad smell and it was infuriating. Other players had done worse and managed to come out of it smelling like roses but his was never going to go away and he knew it. He was good enough to play for the international team but he knew he had ruined any chance of ever making it.

Adam on the other hand? Adam was loved by everyone, he was so enthusiastic and energetic on and off the pitch and he always had the biggest smile, unless of course anyone said anything bad about Aaron and then he was like a guard dog ready to pounce to defend his best mate. Aaron was excited for Adam, although they had both gotten call ups for England Aaron had only been brought on a few times as a substitute but Adam had been a first team player several times. He was almost guaranteed to get one of the coveted spots and make it all the way to the world cup.

“Come on mate just a few drinks.” Adam pleaded with Aaron at the end of a long training week. Aaron’s shoulders ached as he cricked his neck trying to get rid of the stiffness.

“Nah mate too tired.” He told him, plus he was wary of nightclubs and other places.

“There’s this new place right. Super exclusive. All the footie lads go.” Adam said pleadingly. “You might even meet someone.” Adam said suggestively and Aaron shot him a warning look. Although he was openly gay with friends and family only a select few of his team mates and his manager knew. He would rather keep it that way. No way did he want to become known as the first openly gay football player in the league. Not gonna happen if he had anything to do with it.

“…Or not.” Adam continued catching on to Aaron’s look. 

“Shouldn’t you be in the gym or something anyway?” Aaron asked chucking his stuff into his training bag to take home. “The teams announced Monday innit?” He asked though he knew the date. They all did, it was the only topic of conversation in the locker room at the moment even with the lads who knew they weren’t making it to the world cup.

Adam shrugged and suddenly seemed more serious than he had a few minutes ago. “I don’t think anything I do now is gonna change the outcome on Monday mate.” He said to him trying to act like he didn’t care what happened on Monday but Aaron knew that wasn’t true. He was chuffed for Adam that he was going to make it to the world cup, the boy worked hard, harder than most people he knew and he deserved it. 

“You go on.” Aaron said to him picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “I’ve got plans.” He lied.

“See you Monday loser.” Adam said giving Aaron a wave before heading towards the showers. 

Aaron sighed and picked up his bag heading out of the locker room and towards his car. He would give anything to be on that team selection on Monday but he knew it wouldn’t happen. A few years ago and he would have been a shoe in for a spot but nowadays? Nah. It didn’t matter that he was one of the best defenders in the league. It didn’t matter that he had spent the last 5 years turning his life around and working hard for everything he had gotten. He was always going to be remembered for that one stupid mistake. 

He reached a bin on the outside of the grounds and kicked it angrily needing to vent his frustration on something, cursing angrily when a sharp jolt of pain shot through his foot and he leaned against the wall taking a few deep breathes waiting for the pain to subside before he continued walking. He knew what his mum or Paddy would say if he spoke to them about this, they would tell him to make an appointment with his counsellor, his counsellor would tell him that he couldn’t change the past. It was just a never ending cycle of the same thing over and over again. It was frustrating but that was his life now.

He opened the door to his car and chucked his training bag on the passenger seat taking a few deep breathes once he was inside. He couldn’t drive when angry or frustrated or he didn’t know what could possibly happen. Once he had calmed down he started the engine and drove home. 

Of course he lived alone, what were his other options? Although he had boyfriends in the past he was single right now. And even when he wasn’t single he couldn’t exactly move in with a bloke. Actually that was what had ended his last relationship with Ed. Ed was frustrated at Aaron still being in the closet, he wanted the whole shebang, a house, a ring, probably kids. It wasn’t that Aaron didn’t want those things too he just wasn’t ready for the sacrifice or the attention that came along with it. They had been together for 6 months before Ed had announced he couldn’t take it anymore and Aaron hadn’t seen him since. 

There were no openly gay footballers in the premier league and Aaron didn’t see that changing any time soon. A few years ago a former player had come out and everyone had made such a huge deal, the guy hadn’t even played football in 15 years and no one had given him a second thought in all that time. Aaron didn’t want the attention that would come with being the first out player. He knew there were others, in fact he could name several of them but there was an unwritten code amongst the men to keep each others secrets. Gay and football just didn’t go together.

The thought of the taunts from the rival fans, the way people would look at him and the homophobia scared him. When he had first come out to his friends and family at 17 it was one of the worst experiences of his life. His footballing career hadn’t even taken off yet and he was living with his stepdad Paddy. Paddy had found out and confronted him. Aaron had, of course, taken his anger out on Paddy and then almost killed himself to go along with it. Although he wasn’t in such a dark place anymore things in his head were still not good and today was one of those not good days.

He hadn’t done it in a while, it was hard to keep cutting when you always had physios and doctors looking at you but he had always made up an excuse in the past for the cuts and he could do it again. He walked into the bathroom and looked at the razors next to the sink taking a moment to select one and lifting up his shirt. There were scars but they were faded enough that no one questioned them unless they looked hard enough, thank God for that rule about no footballers being able to lift up their shirts for celebrations anymore or he might be in trouble. He chose a spot high up on his left chest, sucked in a deep breath and cut, cut until he was bleeding and until the pain was just enough to make him feel better but it was never enough to make the darkness go away altogether.

He carefully bandaged up the cut, making sure it was clean and wouldn’t get infected. He’d think of something to tell the team doctor on Monday and hopefully they would believe it. He sighed and changed into pyjamas, he had no energy to do anything else and fell into a deep and long slumber. He knew this was going to be a bad weekend.

 

Monday morning came around quicker than he thought it would. The team news was due out at 9am so Aaron cut of all radio and television and put his phone on silent, he couldn’t stand to hear which of his friends had made it. He would find out soon enough and then the façade of being happy for them all could begin. Right now he just couldn’t handle it. He drove the 30 minutes to the grounds. To his surprise Adam was standing in the parking lot looking anxiously around. Aaron thought he would be inside celebrating him being called up. 

Adam practically bounced over to the car once Aaron had parked and Aaron knew he had made it by the huge smile adorning his best friends face. He took a moment to catch his breath preparing the fake smile that he would have to put on for the next few weeks before climbing out of the car.

“Congratulations mate!” He said hoping he sounded excited enough for Adam walking over and giving him a hug. He really was delighted for him but it didn’t stop him being bitter about his missed chance.

Adam gave him a laugh. “I know mate, can’t believe it.” He said shaking his head. “You should have seen Vic this morning!” He told him. “And her brother made it too can you believe it? All 3 of us she’s buzzing!”

Aaron took a moment to roll his eyes because of course Robert bloody Sugden had made the team. He wasn’t even surprised he just hated the man. He was arrogant, stuck up, extremely talented and on top of it all bloody gorgeous, all of which made Aaron hate him even more. It was a shame he was Vic’s brother really because Vic was great. He could just do without having to see her brother all the time.

“Wait, what?” He said confused when he realised what Adam had said. “3?” He asked him confused wondering who on earth the third person Adam was referring to was. “Does Vic have another brother I don’t know about?” He joked, well obviously she had two brothers including Andy but Andy definitely did not play football.

Adam’s face fell as he gave Aaron a really confused look. “Mate, didn’t you check your phone this morning?” He asked him slowly.

“No…?” Aaron said reaching into his pocket to see what Adam was referring to. “I didn’t need to, knew you’d make it.” He shrugged. To his surprise he had several dozen missed calls, voicemails and text messages, mostly from his mum, Paddy or his agent.

“What’s going on?” He asked confused looking up at Adam and Adam got this really exasperated look on his face when he realised Aaron hadn’t worked it out yet.

“Mate you made the team!” Adam yelled practically jumping up and down with joy. “We’re going to the world cup!” He said and he looked like an excited little boy who just got told he was going to Disneyland.

“I can’t have.” Aaron said confused not fully realising it yet. “No one in their right mind would pick me, I wasn’t even in consideration.” He said sure that Adam had made a mistake.

Adam sighed annoyed that Aaron wasn’t as excited as he was so he pulled out his own phone and brought up the press release that announced the team scrolling down to the list of defenders and sure enough, there in black in white were the words Aaron Dingle for the world to see.

Aaron’s mouth dropped open in response he didn’t know what else to do or what to say. Whatever he had prepared himself for this morning it wasn’t this and he was completely in shock.

Next thing he knew Adam had thrown himself against him in a crushing hug and Aaron gasped. “Ah!” He said he hadn’t had time to prepare for the hug and Adam had hit right on where he had cut himself on Friday. Adam pulled back with a frown on his face.

“Are you ok?” He asked him worriedly and Aaron had to think fast, Adam knew he had cut himself in the past but didn’t know Aaron was still doing it and Aaron wanted to keep it that way.

Aaron shook his head and plastered a huge grin on his face. “Yeah you just took me by surprise, big lump like you throwing yourself at me.” He joked and was relieved to see Adam bought it. “Come on we better go and see the rest of the team, eh?” He said putting his arm around Adam’s shoulder and starting to walk inside. Now it was finally starting to sink in, he had made it! Really made it! He couldn’t believe it and he just hoped it wasn’t some horrible mistake by the manager he was actually going to the world cup.

“Yeah and tonight we’re celebrating. No excuses!” He said quickly as Aaron opened his mouth to protest. “Not going out or anything, dinner round ours, Vic’s cooking and I know how much you love her cooking.” He told him.

“Is Robert coming?” Aaron asked him with a frown he did love Vic’s cooking and celebrating with Adam and Vic sounded great as long as her asshole brother didn’t come. 

“Er… well yeah.” Adam said sheepishly. “Well he made it too didn’t he?” He said trying to explain himself. “I couldn’t not invite him. You don’t mind do you?”

Yes he minded but he knew he couldn’t say so, Vic had every right to invite her brother round to her house and Adam and Robert got on pretty well. And it was his celebration too after all.

“Fine, whatever.” He said. “But I’m not drinking.” He added, the last thing he wanted to do was make a fool of himself in front of Robert Sugden. This seemed to satisfy Adam who suddenly grinned like a cheshire cat. 

“Deal.” He said to him slapping Aaron’s shoulder. “Come on this should be a fun training session for once.” He said as they entered the changing room to shouts of congratulations and whoops from their teammates and Aaron had to admit it was nice to feel the love for once, nice to feel respected and like he was finally and equal amongst all these men who were just his colleagues. Now he was something they could aspire too and it warmed his dead, cold heart just a little bit.

The world cup selection was all anyone talked about all day. Everyone had opinions on it and Aaron was sure some had negative opinions about his own selection but if they did they kept it secret and that he definitely appreciated.

He finally found a quiet moment during his break to check his phone again and the number of messages had doubled at least. Most of them seemed to be his mother with them getting increasingly frustrated he hadn’t responded yet. Even though they had a rocky relationship in the past Aaron really did love his mother. They had worked really hard on their relationship in the last few years and they were finally in a good place. And she was his biggest supporter ever since he had told her he wanted to be a professional footballer. He knew he wouldn’t be where he was right now if it wasn’t for her and Paddy.

He went to select her name and his phone rang again, again it was her. He laughed and answered the phone. “Hi mum.” He said hearing a screaming from the other end of the phone that made him wince and pull the phone away from his ear.

“Oh my God Aaron why haven’t you picked up until now?” She demanded and then before he could answer her she continued. “I’ve had the whole family on the phone, oh love they’re all so happy for you! They’re already booking their tickets over to Germany to see you play even the little’uns are coming.” She said without even taking a breath. “Oh and me and Paddy, oh love, we’re just so proud. Couldn’t believe it when they said your name this morning! How are you feeling?” She asked seemingly remembering she was talking to an actual person and not an answering machine. All Aaron could do was laugh.

“I think you’re more excited than me.” Aaron joked, it definitely was a joke because he was ecstatic this is where his career should have been 5 years ago and he finally had a chance to redeem himself on the biggest stage in the world.

“Don’t be like that!” Chas chided him seemingly thinking that Aaron wasn’t excited even though he was. “You should be so proud of yourself love.” She told him and Aaron could practically hear the smile through the phone. “You worked so hard for this and you deserve it.”

“Mum I might not even get to play.” He pointed out to her. “There’s 24 of us going not everyone will get a chance.” He had to be realistic about this he knew he probably wouldn’t be the first choice defended for the team and wouldn’t get a look in until a few games had been played.

“Oh love don’t!” Chas said to him. “You’re a bloody brilliant footballer, they’re lucky to have you.”

“Thanks mum.” Aaron said and he was genuinely smiling now, he could just hear the pride bursting through his mums voice. “Tell the family I’ll pay for their tickets.” He told her remembering what she had said about the whole family booking tickets over to Germany already. The Dingle’s weren’t well off and even though Aaron earned good money most of them were too proud to take handouts so Aaron just helped out where he could without insulting anyones pride. He always stepped in if there was an emergency, like his cousin Debbie’s daughter Sarah and her various health problems. Aaron always made sure he helped pay for her treatment and he knew how much Debbie appreciated it. 

“They’ll appreciate that love.” She said and Aaron was glad she didn’t argue he just hoped the rest of the family would be the same. “Oh how happy is Adam?” She asked and Adam could hear the pride in her voice. His mum loved Adam almost like a second son at this point. “And Vic, her brother made it too right?” She asked.

“Yeah Adam’s like an overgrown puppy.” Aaron laughed. “You know how he gets when he’s excited, just multiply that by 10.” He heard his mothers laughter down the phone. “And Vic’s cooking us all a dinner tonight to celebrate so she’s pretty delighted too.” 

“Awk isn’t that lovely, if I was closer I would do something to celebrate.” She told him.

“I know mum.” He said, his mum lived up North in Emmerdale while Aaron lived in London. He tried to see her as often, making an effort to make it to Emmerdale when they were close for away games. When his mum got a chance he would pay for her to travel down to London to see his home games but as his mum ran a pub with her cousin Charity and his stepdad was the local vet so they didn’t make it to games very often and with Aaron’s gruelling training schedule he often didn’t have the time to make the trip up home. “We’ll celebrate next time I’m back in the village eh? Big knees up in the Woolie?” He suggested. “Open bar, I’m paying of course.” He told her, he knew the locals would love that, any excuse to drink and most of them were right there.

“That sounds great love!” His mum responded enthusiastically. “Do you have any idea when you’ll be able to make it home?” She asked and Aaron opened his mouth to answer.

“Oi Dingle.” Came a voice from the other side of the room and Aaron’s head shot up. His teammate was standing there with his arms folded. “We’re holding up training for you get a move on.” He said.

“Sorry mate.” Aaron said looking at the clock on the wall he hadn’t realised how long he had been on break for. “Be there in a minute.” He told him.

“Mum I gotta go.” He told her. “I’ll call you tomorrow and speak to Paddy.” He promised her knowing his stepfather would want to send his congratulations too. “Love you.” He said hearing his mother repeat the words back to him before hanging up.

And now Aaron had a genuine smile on his face. He was happy for the first time in the longest time. He had finally achieved his dream of going to the world cup, alongside his best friend too! And his mother was genuinely happy for him now he finally felt like he was making her proud. Nothing could bring him down after this day and that was a promise.

 

After practice he headed back to his flat so he could shower and change, he wasn’t going to show up to Adam and Vic’s smelling of football practice and wearing the same clothes. He grabbed a taxi that was passing, even though he didn’t intend to drink it was always better to be safe than sorry when it came to drink driving. When he arrived at their apartment he thanked the taxi driver and knocked on the door smoothing down his hair a little bit as he waited for one of them to open the door.

“No need to make yourself look pretty for me.” Came the cocky voice of Robert Sugden as he opened the door to find Aaron fixing his hair.

Aaron scowled at him, he had almost forgotten that Adam had told him Robert was coming too. He really couldn’t stand the guy but since he was Vic’s brother and he had also made the team he just knew that he would have to put up with him for now. It was going to be a long few weeks in Germany if he had to play nice with Robert though, the two of them had absolutely nothing in common.

“I wasn’t.” He told him pushing past him into the flat and removing his jacket to hang it up with the other jackets.

“Hey!” Came Vic’s excited voice when she spotted Aaron from the kitchen, rushing out to greet him with a massive hug which he returned. “I am so, so happy for you.” She said to him sincerely making him smile.

“Thanks Vic.” He told her. “Still in shock myself.” He admitted.

“Aren’t we all?” Robert butted into the conversation making Aaron roll his eyes.

“What in shock that I managed to make the team?” Aaron challenged him, his heckles raised. He knew he was going to be defending his selection over the next few weeks so he was ready for whatever Robert could throw at him this evening.

Robert looked takenaback by Aaron’s reaction. “No.” He said to him. “I meant shock for all of us.” He told him and Aaron suddenly felt bad about his reaction Robert did look worried that he had offended Aaron. “I thought you would make it, you had an excellent season.” He added surprising Aaron.

“Thanks.” Aaron managed to stutter out after a few moments of being unsure of what to say. “Same to you.” He added and Vic was grinning at the both of them.

“Look at you two getting along.” She said nudging Robert playfully. “Never thought I’d see the day.” She said. “Food will be ready in about 15 minutes.” She told him gesturing towards the living room indicating they should go in there to wait.

Aaron followed Robert into the living room taking a seat on the sofa, Robert elected to sit in one of the armchairs, neither man saying anything for a few seconds. Aaron didn’t know how to speak to Robert. They played on rival teams and Robert seemed very shallow to him. He was already dressed in the newest designer clothes and he drove the fanciest car possible. He always had a beautiful girl hanging off his arm. Aaron couldn’t imagine what they had in common, in fact he had no idea what Robert and Adam spoke about when they were together. 

“You’re getting married soon right?” Aaron asked him after a few moments of silence where the two men awkwardly sipped on their drinks. He vaguely remembered seeing a magazine spread announcing that Robert was engaged to some heiress whose name escaped him right now. 

“Huh?” Robert asked seemingly confused by Aaron’s question. “Oh you’re talking about Chrissie.” He said realisation dawning on his face and Aaron nodded, that name sounded right.

“No we ended it a few months ago.” He told him and Aaron raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Your decision or hers?” He asked him curiously though he had no idea what caused him to ask.

“Hers.” Robert admitted and then hesitated slightly. “After she caught me with someone else.” He said much to Aaron’s surprise. He knew that fidelity wasn’t something that premier league footballers were known for but he never had Robert down as a cheater. He noticed the blush creeping over Robert’s face after the admission.

“Wow.” Aaron said unsure what else he was supposed to say to that thankfully Adam walked in at that moment pulling beers out of a bag.

“Well this is awkward.” He said a moment after entering the room noticing the tension between the two men.

“Toss us one of those mate.” Aaron said to him catching the beer when Adam obliged. He hadn’t intended to drink but if the last 10 minutes were anything to go by he was going to need beer to get through the rest of this night. 

“May as well enjoy these now.” Adam said with a grin. “It’ll be a strict no beer policy once we start training.” He didn’t sound annoyed by this at all and Aaron knew why, not drinking for a month was a small price to pay for getting to play in the world cup. 

“Too right.” Robert said grinning as he clinked his beer against Adam’s. “Germany watch out.” He added making Aaron smile, probably the first thing that Robert had said that made him smile ever in fact. 

“They won’t know what’s hit them once we get in there.” He agreed standing up so he could clink his own beer against Robert’s making Robert smile.

“Foods ready.” Came Vic’s voice from the dining room and the three of them headed in there eagerly, Vic was a chef at one of the best restaurants in London and Aaron loved her food.

“This looks amazing Vic.” Robert said to her as they all took their seats at the table and Aaron nodded eagerly in agreement with Adam leaning over to give his wife a kiss of appreciation.

What followed was an awkward dinner with the four of them. Aaron mainly kept up conversation with Adam and Vic, making an effort to speak with Robert too. If the two of them were going to be on the same team they would have to work together. Robert was England’s number 1 choice goalkeeper if it came down to a choice between the two of them regarding who should play he knew who the manager would pick. If he and Robert weren’t seen playing nice Aaron stood no chance of making the team and he didn’t want that. He wanted to play and he wanted to make everyone proud of him. He wanted to prove that he was good enough to have earned this opportunity and that he wouldn’t waste it. He wanted to let the whole world know that he wasn’t the same lad who had punched someone years ago and got away with it. This was his chance.


	2. The truth will out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive response to this story! I haven't wrote fanfiction since I was a teenager and I didn't know it would be received so well so thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, gave kudos. I really appreciate all of it.

The season ended and his team had managed to work their way up to 2nd in the league. Although it was the consolation prize Aaron and most of his team were pretty happy with the result. Obviously everyone would have preferred to top the league and win the coveted premier league trophy. In fact it would have been his first ever, but 2nd was a respectable substitute. Coming second meant they were guaranteed a place in the European Championships next year too and that they were in good standing heading into the next season.

 

There was only a week break before training started for the world cup. Most of their training would be in London and then a week before the first match they would be flying to Germany with the other 31 teams that had qualified for the tournament. Football fever was at breaking point across England. Every time Aaron ventured outside of his flat there were more flags on the houses and bunting across the streets. He saw adults and children wearing England shirts everywhere he went and people would stop him on the street to wish him luck or to let him know that the whole country was behind the team. It was a good feeling heading into the training for the tournament to know that there were so many people backing them to win. He just hoped they didn’t let anyone down with their performance.

 

Aaron managed to keep his nose clean during the break. He didn’t go out drinking and made sure he wasn’t caught by any paparazzi. He didn’t want anything printed about him in the paper whether it be negative or not, he knew if his name made it into one of the rags it would most likely be in a negative light and that was the last thing he needed.

 

On the first day of training he headed to the training ground nice and early, he always liked to get a feel of the grounds and get a few warm ups done before anyone else arrived. When he walked into the changing room to his surprise he saw Robert standing there and of course Robert was wearing only a towel and was dripping wet, having obviously just got out of the shower himself.

 

For a moment Aaron was unable to speak as he stared at this surprising image, of course he always found Robert extremely attractive, despite his off-putting personality, you would have to be blind not to notice how good looking the guy was. And all footballers had excellent bodies as a result of their gruelling training regimes but he just hadn’t been prepared to see this first thing in the morning. And now he realised with some horror that Robert was speaking to him and giving him an odd look, probably wondering why Aaron had just been staring at him.

 

“What?” Aaron asked snapping himself out of it and forcing himself to look up at Robert’s face instead of his extremely toned upper body with just a towel hiding his decency.

 

“I was asking if you were ok?” Robert responded a frown across his lips. He obviously thought Aaron was touched in the head or something.

 

“Yeah fine.” Aaron said turning around and hanging his jacket up on one of the hooks just so he wasn’t facing Robert anymore. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be here so early.” He said to him forcing himself not to turn back around, hoping that by the time he did Robert would be wearing some more clothes.

 

“I like to be early.” Robert told him. “I always get the best warm up when I’m alone.” He explained.

 

“Yeah same.” Aaron said as he pulled his own top off, not turning round again to face Robert until he had pulled his football shirt on. The last thing he needed was Robert questioning him about his scars. Thankfully when he was changed and turned back around Robert had changed into his own kit and was fixing his hair.

 

“I wouldn’t bother making yourself look pretty.” Aaron told him gruffly. “It’ll all go to waste by the time they have you running around that pitch.”

 

“You think I’m pretty?” Robert asked him with a teasing grin on his face and Aaron’s face darkened immediately.

 

“No.” He said forcefully. “What are you trying to say mate?” He asked him his heckles raised immediately. With just a few weeks to go to the world cup the last thing he needed were gay rumours to be started about him and he really didn’t trust Robert not to spread them if he got any wind of Aaron being gay.

 

“Woah, nothing.” Robert said holding his hands up defensively. “Just a bit of locker room banter.” He told him backing away from Aaron. “No need to be so touchy.” He added sounding annoyed.

 

“Well I’m not gay.” Aaron told him. “So don’t go spreading any rumours that I am.”

 

“Right, good to know.” Robert said with a bit of an eye roll and Aaron knew he just wasn’t buying it. Maybe he shouldn’t have jumped all over him for it. If he didn’t seem so touchy about the subject then Robert would have no reason to be suspicious. Like he said it was just a bit of locker room banter to him but to Aaron it wasn’t.

 

He finished changing quickly and headed out to the pitch to get started on his warm up without speaking any further to Robert. He wasn’t looking forward to spending the next month or so with Robert especially since Robert and Adam were friends he was sure they would be forced to socialise.

 

Thankfully the rest of the team and the coaching squad arrived not long after meaning he could stay away from Robert. Aaron made an effort during the session to chat to a few members of the team that he wasn’t so familiar with. The session went well in his opinion. It was mostly just the manager trying them out in different positions and trying out a few set pieces that he had mapped out for them. They had quite a good team here he thought. He wasn’t sure if they had the skill to win the cup but he had confidence that they at least wouldn’t embarrass themselves in Germany and that was all he could ask for.

 

He turned down the chance to hang out with some of the other team members and headed home, he was too tired from the long day of training and knowing they would have to do the same thing tomorrow and for the next few weeks until the tournament started. He didn’t want to tire himself out. He also knew the paparazzi were looking for any opportunity to snap a photo of the team members so they could get their fill of stories on each of them. He just wanted to blend in under the radar for now. He loved his job, it had always been his dream to play professional football but he hated all of the attention that came along with it. He knew that if he wasn’t a footballer he would probably live up north near his mum and Paddy and he would probably have a boyfriend, he wouldn’t have to live in fear of being outed as everyone would already know. Life was different when you were in the public eye. It was the price that came with fame but he was willing to pay it for now to do the job he loved.

 

He looked at the razors that he had used for self-harm multiple times in the past considering if it was worth it. However, today had actually been a good day once he got past the awkward conversation with Robert. He was under so much scrutiny at the moment by the coaching staff and medical team he wasn’t sure he could hide the scars from them and he didn’t want anything to risk his position on the team. For the first time in a long time he shut the drawer where he kept the razors without using them.

 

The next morning Aaron was awoken before his alarm by his phone continually buzzing. He rubbed his eyes in annoyance as he reached for his phone wondering who was trying to reach him so early in the morning. He squinted at the phone frowning when he saw the name of his publicist on the screen, she never called this early and it really worried him.

 

“Hey Kate.” He said still groggy from having just woken up, annoyed that she had woken him about an hour before his alarm it better be important for her to have done that.

 

“Aaron.” She said sounding relieved that he had actually picked up the phone. “Have you been on social media yet?” She asked him and Aaron frowned. He had social media accounts but he wasn’t a big user of them. He would occasionally tweet something to do with football but he didn’t have that many followers and he hadn’t tweeted in over a week so he knew it couldn’t be something he had done.

 

“No.” He said a sinking feeling in his stomach, something bad must have happened for her to be calling him at this time of the morning and he wasn’t sure he was going to like it when he found out what it was.

 

“One of the papers.” She started and it sounded like she was choosing her words very carefully as though trying to work out which ones would make him less angry. “They have a story this morning about you.” She said and Aaron knew what it was before she even said it. He had kept his nose clean for so long any other story they had would be untrue and she wouldn’t be so worried about his reaction.

 

“They have an unnamed source.” Of course they did it was always an unnamed source these cowards were happy to ruin your life but they never wanted their own name attached to the destruction. “He’s told them that you’re gay.” She ended confirming his worst suspicions. “I’m so sorry Aaron I didn’t know this story was coming out or I would have tried to stop it.” She added quickly but she didn’t need to apologise Aaron didn’t blame her. “It’s all over social media already, I can’t do anything.” She was so apologetic sounding.

 

“It’s not your fault.” Aaron said to her though he had his suspicions about who this unnamed source could be and it just made him angry. Kate did a good job of being his publicist he didn’t want her thinking it was her fault in any way. If one of the papers had a source he doubted she could have done anything to halt the story.

 

He ended the call shortly after that and scrolled through twitter for a few minutes. Searching his name brought up thousands, even hundreds of thousands of tweets. He  could see that every news source was now reporting the news as fact and everyone seemed to have an opinion on his sexuality. He couldn’t believe it, this was the worst timing possible for this news to be coming out about him. He knew whoever this source was they had timed it to cause optimal destruction on his life.

 

He switched off his phone when he saw another call coming through from his mother. He couldn’t handle speaking to anyone right now, especially not her. He knew exactly what she would say and she would probably beg him to leave the team and come back home for a few weeks until things cooled off. If it was any other time he might do that but this was his only chance to go to the world cup and he wasn’t going to let anyone ruin that.

 

He forced himself to get out of bed and into the shower. If it was up to him he would just skip practice this morning, the press would probably be there trying to get a comment from him or even just a photo that they could use to accompany their stories. Even though they weren’t allowed into the grounds there was nothing at all to stop them from sitting outside and snapping photos of the players as they arrived. He had already seen them all the day before, although he hadn’t posed for any photos like some of the other players he hadn’t been as annoyed by them then as he would be today.

 

He knew that skipping practice today might make him feel better but he also knew that doing so would jeopardise his position on the team. 24 players and only 11 would be picked per game. If he was seen to be skipping practice he knew the manager would just skip over him in favour of one of the other players. It didn’t matter what excuses he had, and in his opinion this was a pretty good excuse. He would do the same thing if he was the manager. He wouldn’t want a player that didn’t show the same level of commitment as the others no matter what the extenuating circumstances were.

 

He got out of the shower and walked over to the drawer of razors that he had felt so good about not using last night but now he needed to, he didn’t care about the long term consequences it was the only thing he could think of that might make the rest of today a little bit more bearable. He made a quick job of it, putting a bandage over the wound. The wound from the last time had barely healed but he didn’t care about that right now.

 

Looking at the clock he was now running late and with London traffic at this time of the morning he knew he would have to rush. He made it to the training ground with a little time to spare. He could see the paparazzi near the door and was glad his car had tinted windows so they didn’t know it was him in the car just yet. He considered calling inside for a moment to ask if there was another entrance he could use until he spotted Adam lurking inside the door with a worried look on his face. That confirmed that the news had spread to the team already, he would have been naïve to assume it hadn’t. Even though he hadn’t turned on the radio or his phone since hearing the news he knew what everyone would be talking about and it was him.

 

Adam disappeared inside once he spotted Aaron’s car and Aaron took a few minutes of just sitting in the car trying to psyche himself up to open the door and face the paparazzi. He had already decided that he wasn’t going to say anything to them and that he was just going to rush inside as quickly as possible. He knew they were here hoping to get some kind of statement from him. That they were hoping he would either confirm or deny the story but he wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of doing that. He closed his eyes counting to 10 with his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands as he tried to control his breathing and keep calm. He had to seem cool and collected if he was going to get out of the car.

 

He opened his eyes and was surprised to see that the air was suddenly darker when he looked out the window he saw a bunch of figures blocking his view of the paparazzi and Adam was knocking on the window. He wound down the window, surprised to find out that the figures were the rest of the team and that they were blocking the paparazzi from being able to see his car.

 

“Come on mate.” Adam said to him indicating Aaron should open the door. “We’re making sure they can’t get a photo of you for their stories.” He said with a smile and Aaron couldn’t believe it as he undid his seatbelt and pushed open the door. He stepped out and his team members surrounded him blocking any chance the press had of getting his photo. Aaron pulled his hood up too as he followed the team inside. Once far enough inside the doors that they couldn’t be seen by anyone outside they all dispersed apart from Adam a few of them patted him on the back as they passed, muttering quiet words of encouragement all the while avoiding his eyes as they headed towards the changing rooms. Aaron had never felt such an outpouring of emotion for a group of people that he barely knew in his life.

 

He took a deep breath and put his hands on his knees bending over a little to gather his thoughts. “Thanks for that.” He said to Adam he was so glad to have Adam in his life sometimes.

 

“It wasn’t my idea.” Adam told him shaking his head. “I would love to take the praise for it but it was Robert’s idea.” He told him. “Are you ok?” Adam asked him concerned.

 

“Robert?” Aaron asked confused he was almost certain that it was Robert who had outed him to the press after their conversation yesterday and now he wasn’t so sure.

 

“Yeah.” Adam nodded. “Surprised me too.” He added and now all Aaron felt was confusion about what Robert’s intentions were. “The team was more than happy to agree to it.” He added. “We’ve all been on the receiving end of some unwanted press.”

 

“Not quite like this though right?” Aaron said darkly. If he wanted the whole world to know he was gay he would have made it public before now. The fact that everyone now knew and it wasn’t on his own terms was horrible.

 

“Yeah I suppose.” Adam said and Aaron was struggling to think of what bad press Adam had even been the subject of. He was married to a beautiful wife, didn’t drink much, didn’t do anything embarrassing. Even though Aaron knew he was trying to relate he knew Adam really had no idea how this felt and it made him slightly angry. He was going to say something when he was cut off by the manager.

 

“Dingle can I have a word?” He asked him leaning on the doorframe of his office indicating that Adam should go join in the practice. Adam clapped him on the shoulder as a way of wishing him good luck before heading to the changing rooms to join the rest of the team.

 

Aaron had that horrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach again. He wasn’t too familiar with the manager and he didn’t know how this conversation would go. For all he knew this could be the end of his world cup. This man had decided to give him a chance when many others wouldn’t have bothered and now on the second day of training it might all be ruined and it wasn’t even Aaron’s fault.

 

Aaron walked into the office glancing at the white boards that had their training strategies littering them. The manager shut the door behind them and indicated that Aaron should take a seat at his desk while he took the other one. He leaned forward on the desk clasping his hands together in front of him while he looked at Aaron with concern in his eyes.

 

“How are you doing?” He asked him after a few moments of silence and Aaron considered telling the truth but it would probably earn him at least a day out of training and a day with the psychiatrist which would just hurt his chances of getting to play on the team in the cup.

 

“I’m fine.” He told him trying to sound as confident as possible in his own words but judging by the look on the other mans face he wasn’t buying it at all.

 

“We have people who can help you navigate this.” He told him and Aaron snorted causing the manger to look at him with surprise.

 

“Can they turn back time and stop that stupid story from being published?” He asked him that was the only thing that could help him right now. Words meant nothing coming from people who would never know how this felt.

 

“No.” The manager admitted fiddling with his hands awkwardly and Aaron knew he really had no idea how to manage this. Bet he hadn’t counted on this one when he had picked his team. “But we have mental health services available to all of the players.” He told him. “I think you should have a word with one of the counsellors, I can have him here within an hour.”

 

Aaron shook his head he didn’t want to speak to a counsellor, he had spoken to enough of them over the years and he didn’t see how one more was going to help.

 

“If it’s alright with you I’d rather just get on with training.” He told him. The manager considered him carefully for a few moments and seemingly decided it wasn’t worth arguing with him about it for which Aaron was grateful.

 

“Ok.” He said. “But the offer stands, if you need help with this we’re here.” He told him and Aaron nodded standing up, keen to get out of this office which was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. “Take your time getting changed.” He told him as he held open the door for Aaron to leave.

 

Aaron headed to the changing room pulling off his hoodie and cursing when he saw the cut from this morning had bled through his shirt. Luckily he had the forethought to bring some extra bandages with him so he made sure no one was coming into the changing room before peeling off the old bandage and replacing it with another, putting a second one on top as extra cover in case it tried bleeding again. He would have to be careful in practice not to take any knocks, he didn’t want to deal with the questions that came with this cut. If anyone found out he was cutting he knew he would lose his place on the team and be deemed mentally unstable to go to the world cup.

 

Once he was satisfied that the bleeding had stopped he pulled his kit on and walked out onto the pitch. There had been a hubbub of noise before he had entered which quickly turned to silence as all eyes trained on him making him extremely uncomfortable. He could see a few of the players whispering to each other as they glanced at him. He had already decided to ignore it all and just get on with the training. His gut was telling him to confront the ones whispering but he knew that was a bad idea.

 

He decided to stick close by to Adam for the training session which unfortunately meant close to Robert too. Robert didn’t seem able to meet his eye for most of the day which just about confirmed his suspicion that Robert had been the one to leak the story on him. That just infuriated Aaron but he kept it to himself. How could Robert have leaked something like that about one of his teammates? Especially after only one conversation and no proof. By the end of the day with Robert still avoiding his eye or avoiding speaking to him Aaron had decided to confront him in the changing room before they all left.

 

Aaron took his time getting changed back into his regular clothes. Careful not to let his eye wander around the room, just in case any of the other lads thought he was trying to hit on them or something. Even with the show of solidarity this morning he knew there must be one or two on the team that were now uncomfortable with him, at the very least they were probably uncomfortable with sharing a changing room with him and he didn’t want to make things worse than they already were.

 

To his relief once everyone else was changed it was just him and Robert in the changing room. Robert had been fixing his hair in one of the mirrors and seemingly didn’t notice that only he and Aaron were left now when he turned around to find Aaron staring at him.

 

“Did you do it?” Aaron asked him keeping his anger in check, he didn’t want to start a fight he just wanted the truth right now.

 

“Do what?” Robert asked him seemingly confused and Aaron frowned.

 

“Did you tell the press about me? About our conversation yesterday?” Aaron added and a look passed over Robert’s face that he couldn’t identify.

 

“You really think I would do that?” Robert asked him and he actually sounded hurt that Aaron would think so little of him.

 

“Pretty suss timing if you ask me.” Aaron said folding his arms as he stared Robert down he wasn’t quite buying Robert’s reaction right now.

 

“You told me you weren’t gay.” Robert pointed out to him seemingly annoyed by the conversation. “How could I have gone to the press even if I hadn’t believed you?” He challenged him. “They wouldn’t have run the story based off a suspicion.” He said rolling his eyes.

 

“Well someone spoke to them.” He said a tone of annoyance in his voice and since he knew Robert disliked him why wouldn’t he suspect that it was Robert? “And I think it was you.” He told him.

 

“What reason would I have to out you to the press?” Robert challenged him and Aaron had to admit maybe he did have a point there. Why would Robert go to the press with this story? Negative press about one of the players would hurt the team as a whole. Aaron, however, was not ready to drop the subject so easily so he continued pushing, he wanted to get to the bottom of all this.

 

“You hate me.” Aaron said to him. “You’re not happy with me being on the team? You don’t want to be around a gay guy for the next month?” He said listing just a few of the reasons he could think of why Robert would have been the one to out him.

 

“I don’t hate you.” Robert said and to Aaron’s surprise he looked hurt that Aaron actually thought that, or maybe he was just really good at acting. “Quite the opposite actually.” He added a little bit quieter. “And I do not have a problem with you being gay.” He said with a frown. “It would be a little bit hypocritical of me if I did.”

 

It took Aaron a few moments to process these words as he stared at Robert completely thrown off guard by his last statement. Did Robert just hint at what he thought he did? “You’re gay?” Aaron asked him confused if he was understanding this correctly. Hadn’t Robert been engaged to a woman until recently? And before that didn’t he always have some gorgeous woman on his arm in all the newspapers.

 

“No.” Robert said after a small pause and he seemed to be choosing his next words very carefully. “Bisexual actually.” It seemed to be quite a big deal for Robert to say this and Aaron had the impression that he was one of the first people Robert had ever admitted this to.

 

“Oh.” Was all Aaron could think to say in response to that this conversation had taken a complete opposite turn to what he had expected it to and he had no idea how to respond to this new information.

 

“So I would never out you.” Robert added as though he wanted to reiterate that point. “And if you thought I did well you could just turn around and do the same thing to me now couldn’t you?” He said suddenly looking worried that Aaron was going to go to the press about him being bisexual making Aaron feel bad about confronting him. It obviously hadn’t been Robert who had leaked the story.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Aaron asked him after a few moments he was still trying to process everything that had happened today and Robert being bisexual was probably the most surprising part of it all.

 

Robert shrugged. “I thought you might understand.” He told him. “Considering everything I think you might be the only person on the team who does.” He added and Aaron nodded tersely in response. Although Adam and the others could try to be sympathetic they would never understand until they were in the same situation. Robert knew what was at stake and understood what Aaron had been going through the past few years trying to hide his true self from the general public.

 

Suddenly Aaron felt a wave of emotion for Robert that he had never felt for the other man before. “I do understand.” He told him with a nod. “And I won’t tell anyone.” He added and Robert smiled with relief. “And thank you for this morning.” He added remembering that Adam had told him that had been Robert’s idea. Robert nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“You know I would suggest we go get a drink and drown our sorrows but I think we’re banned from alcohol until the tournaments over.” Robert said with a grin and Aaron laughed.

 

“Yeah maybe another time mate.” He said to him he wasn’t sure how he felt about Robert now. He had spent a few years hating the guy because he thought of him as this cocky bigshot who looked down on him but that had been one of the most earnest conversations Aaron had with anyone in a while. He still wasn’t sure why Robert had opened up to him but he was glad that he did.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Robert said to him grabbing his own bag and other things, giving Aaron a little smile before he headed out the door. Aaron watched him leave then took a few moments to gather his things together. He didn’t want to have an awkward conversation with Robert in the parking lot so he wanted to give him enough time to leave before heading out himself. It had been one very strange day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with the ending of this chapter but it got me to where I wanted it. I was considering going both ways with Robert denying his sexuality but decided this was best. I'm already working on the next chapter but I work full time so I don't know when I will be able to get it up. Hopefully during the week. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

The week after the leak had been one of the hardest weeks of Aaron’s life. He had hoped that the media attention would die down a little bit but the closer they got to the tournament the more increased scrutiny he came under. Thankfully, some of the heat was taken off him as the media started to focus on his teammates as well as him. 

He had refused to make any comment to the press and left his manager to field any and all calls with just a “no comment” any time someone asked. And to his relief the other members of the team also refused to comment when pressed about the matter. Even though there was never any official confirmation the press happily began running stories listing him as footballs first openly gay player. It was the last thing he had ever wanted and something he had actively worked to prevent. The effect it had on his mental health was tolling. He was beginning to struggle with things that hadn’t bothered him for months or even years at this point. 

His usual coping mechanism for stressful situations was to self-harm. However, he was under such intense scrutiny from the teams medical staff he knew this wasn’t an option. If he was caught self-harming he knew that would be the end of his England career before it had even started and he wouldn’t be allowed to set a foot in Germany if they thought he couldn’t cope with it. He instead turned to his second favourite coping mechanism of exercising himself into the ground. In the mornings he would be the first one to the grounds, 2 hours before everyone else and he would stay behind way beyond when everyone else was gone. He would either be working in the gym on weights or running laps of the pitch until he was almost ready to collapse from exhaustion. He knew it wasn’t healthy but all he needed was to get through these next couple of weeks and he knew he would be fine. 

Amazingly after their conversation he and Robert had formed a sort of odd, kind of strained friendship. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready to call them friends just yet but they now made an effort to talk to each other during practice and often even hung out during their breaks, usually with Adam in tow. Adam had even told him how delighted Vic was that the two of them seemed to be getting along now. 

Aaron wasn’t sure what to make with Robert after the revelation that he was bisexual. He had always found the older man extremely attractive and finding out that there was a possibility something might happen had left him conflicted. He had churned the conversation over and over in his brain for a few days wondering why exactly Robert had chosen to tell Aaron when even his own family didn’t know. Had he been hoping that something might happen between them? Since Robert had made no advances towards Aaron he had decided that he was wrong and pushed this thought away almost as quickly as it had appeared. He supposed he would just have to settle for admiring Robert from afar, after all just because Robert was bisexual it didn’t mean he was actually interested in dating a man and it certainly didn’t mean he was interested in dating Aaron. 

It was now two weeks before they were due to fly to Germany to begin the final week of training in the grounds where they would play their first match. The closer the tournament got the more stressed out Aaron became so he had pushed himself particularly hard that morning. He had run laps of the pitch until it felt like the blisters on his feet had blisters. And it felt good, almost freeing in a way. He had only stopped to take a shower when the rest of the team had started to arrive. 

Today’s practice was penalties. Unfortunately, England had a bit of reputation when it came to penalties in big tournaments. The coach was new and had something to prove so he was determined that they wouldn’t leave the tournament on a penalty shootout. He dedicated the whole day to them making them line up one by one to take a shot against Robert who made for a towering figure in goal when you were facing him one on one. . 

Aaron waited in line for his turn shielding his eyes under the burning sun. He was starting to feel dizzy and was struggling to focus on what was happening. The sun didn’t help at all and sometimes he wished they didn’t play these tournaments in the summer in what appeared to be a heatwave. He watched Adam knock a penalty past Robert barely even registering what was happening until he realised the coach was calling his name. 

It was his turn he forced himself to take steps forward slowly towards the penalty spot. He stared at the ball on the ground for a few moments willing it to come back into focus so he could aim his kick at it properly. When he finally thought he had worked out where the ball was he kicked out except it didn’t quite go to plan. He missed the ball and lost his balance blacking out on the field. 

Next thing he knew he was on his side on the ground, someone had put him into the recovery position and one of the team medics was next to him taking his pulse while his teammates and coaches hovered around him looking worried.

“What happened?” He asked confused and groggy trying to push himself up into a sitting position just to be forcefully pushed by down again by the medic. He was embarrassed looking around at his teammates who were all staring at him, had he just passed out in front of all of them? That was the last thing he needed right now.

“You passed out.” The medic told him and he couldn’t mistake the serious tone in her voice. “Probably a combination of sunstroke and dehydration.” She told him. 

“Oh.” Aaron said lamely unsure what he was meant to say to that he didn’t doubt her diagnosis he hadn’t been hydrating himself at all and now he felt even worse it was his own fault. Considering how much he had overworked himself this morning he really should have been more careful.

“I want him to rest for a few hours.” He heard the medic telling the coach who was nodding looking at Aaron with a concerned look on his face.

“No!” Aaron protested trying to sit up again and regretting how quickly he moved as the dizziness returned and he started seeing double. He slowly lowered himself back down.

“Yes.” The medic said looking around at the team. “Can someone help me get him inside?” She asked and to Aaron’s embarrassment Robert immediately stepped forward to help take Aaron’s weight onto himself to get inside. He helped Aaron stand up putting Aaron’s right arm over his shoulder while his left arm went over the medics bringing him inside and to the medical room. Why couldn’t it have been an other member of the team apart from Robert, he really didn’t want Robert to see him in this state, he was so embarrassed.

Once inside the medical room the medic got to work setting Aaron up on a drip, presumedly to rehydrate him. Aaron wished Robert would go back to practice and stop hovering over him but it didn’t seem like Robert was in a hurry to move.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to practice?” Aaron asked him after a few minutes of silence and Robert standing there with his arms folded and a frown on his face. “The keeper should be doing penalty practice no?” He added it seemed logical that Robert should be out on the pitch.

“Barnes is doing it.” Robert shrugged, ah yeah their second choice goalkeeper Aaron had forgotten about him. Robert was pretty good at saving penalties he supposed Barnes did need the practice too.

“Have you been overdoing it?” The medic asked Aaron with a frown and he felt his face flush.

“Yes.” Robert answered for him and Aaron looked at him with surprise. How on earth would Robert know how much he had been working out, trying to push his body to its upper limits. “He’s always working out in the morning and the evening as well as practice.” Robert added and Aaron was surprised, had Robert been watching him or something?

“You need to slow down.” She told Aaron and he could tell how unhappy she was with him by the stern tone of her voice. Aaron nodded unsure what else to say. “I’ll be reporting this to the coach.” She added which displeased him greatly the last thing he needed was a reason for the coach to keep him off the team when he was perfectly capable of playing.

“Don’t.” He said quickly pleading with her. “I’ll slow down.” He promised though he didn’t quite believe the words he was saying himself the incessant working out was the only way he could cope with everything that had happened recently. It was the only thing that made him feel like his entire life wasn’t spiralling out of control. 

“Sorry.” She said sounding sincere at least. “I need to let him know so he can make informed decisions.” An answer that was the last thing Aaron wanted to hear right now. “I want you to stay in here for the rest of the afternoon so I can keep an eye on you.” She told him. “I’ll tell the coach you’ll be back in practice in the morning.” And with a small sympathetic smile she left them alone in the room.

Aaron’s hand reached for the IV in his arm scratching at it a little bit, he hated how it confined him to the bed, he hated feeling like he was stuck. 

“Don’t scratch at it.” Robert said with a frown swatting his arm away from the IV causing Aaron to look at him with dislike.

“You can go back to practice.” Aaron told him. “You’ve done your good Samaritan deed for the day.” He told him wondering why Robert was still hanging around. Aaron didn’t like that Robert was seeing him in such a vulnerable position right now either. 

Robert ignored him.

“You have been overdoing it you know.” Robert told him and Aaron rolled his eyes. “I used to be the first one here every morning and this week it’s been you. You leave way after everyone else is gone.” He said in a very condescending tone that made Aaron almost want to punch him. If only he had the energy to right now he might.

“We have a world cup coming up if you hadn’t noticed.” Aaron said to him. “Some of us would like to be fit enough to play in it.” He really hoped Robert would buy all of this and the whole thing wouldn’t escalate any further.

“And if you keep working yourself this hard and not taking care of yourself you’re going to end up in hospital and where would that leave the rest of us?” Robert challenged him. 

“Oh shut up.” Aaron told him angrily, he didn’t know what else to say to Robert it was so frustrating trying to argue with someone when they were making perfect sense. “Stop pretending you care about what happens to me.” Aaron told him. “You only care about winning.” And he knew this was true, Robert was very competitive he knew that and he knew this would touch a nerve.

“You really have no idea do you?” Robert asked him with a scoff causing Aaron to look at him quizzically. 

“No idea about what?” Aaron asked completely thrown by the words. He knew Robert, he had played against him for years and he knew how competitive he was and how much he hated to lose. Although he may have grown more fond of him over the last few weeks it certainly hadn’t changed his opinions much.

Robert opened his mouth as though he was about to say something and then changed his mind looking down at the ground and Aaron noticed a flush spreading across his cheeks. “Never mind.” Robert said sounding frustrated after a few moments leaving Aaron even more frustrated. 

“Whatever.” Aaron muttered deciding this wasn’t worth the argument he was just too tired and talking to Robert was such a frustrating experience he just wanted to be left alone now so he could recover and get back to training as soon as possible.

Robert seemed to decide the same, that this conversation just wasn’t worth his time so without another word he turned and stormed out of the room letting the door slam behind him, making Aaron wince a little bit. He already had a banging headache due to the dehydration and loud noises certainly did not help.

 

The next morning Aaron made sure he was actually late for practice. He didn’t know why this was so important to him. Did he want to prove a point to Robert that he hadn’t been overdoing it? If so it wasn’t really helping by the time he got there he was itching to start working out again.

The coach was waiting for him by the dressing room and the feeling of dread returned, was he going to kick him off the team for such a small thing? Maybe bench him so he couldn’t participate and therefore basically forfeit his place on the team?

“Dingle.” He said when he saw Aaron approaching with a look of concern on his face. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday coach.” Aaron said deciding to get the remorse out of the way. “Didn’t drink enough water.” He said trying to make it sound like it wasn’t serious. “Won’t make the same mistake again.” He really hoped he sounded sincere with that last sentence. Once the scrutiny was off him a little bit again he knew he would be right back at it with the working out he would just have to be more careful about it this time.

The coach hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Fine.” He said. “I want you to check in with the medical team later today though.” He added sternly and Aaron nodded, really it was the best he could ask for and he headed into the changing room with relief. That was until he saw Robert leaning up against his locker waiting for him.

“What do you want Sugden?” He asked him annoyance seeping through his voice, why couldn’t Robert just leave him alone. He didn’t know why it was any of Robert’s business how hard he overworked himself.

“How are you feeling today?” Robert asked him and Aaron was confused as to why it was any of Robert’s business how he was feeling.

“Fine.” He answered knowing no other answer would get Robert off his back.

“Liar.” Accused Robert making Aaron even more annoyed. He was beginning to miss the days when he didn’t speak to Robert at all. He wanted to go back to those if only so it would get Robert off his back. 

“And what’s it to you?” Aaron said through gritted teeth he was really trying to work out what he could say to get Robert to leave him alone. 

“I’m worried about you.” Robert admitted and this did take Aaron by surprise.

“Only because you think it’ll hurt our chances.” Aaron told him. Robert had shown him no concern before they were both on the same team so he didn’t doubt this was true. In fact they had spoken more in the past few weeks than they had in the entire time they had known each other. And that included events that they were forced to attend together due to knowing Vic and Adam.

“No.” Robert said and Aaron was surprised to hear a little bit of hurt in his voice, almost as though he couldn’t believe Aaron would think that.

“Oh yeah.” Aaron said turning around and squaring up to him a little bit. “Then why?” He challenged.

Robert seemed to hesitate for a few moments before suddenly, before Aaron could say or do anything, his lips were on Aaron’s. A small explosion seemed to go off inside of Aaron’s head as he struggled to process this but it didn’t take long before he was responding to the kiss. Their bodies moving together as though they knew what to do, as if this was familiar to them. It was honestly one of the most surprising and best kisses Aaron had ever experienced in his life and he couldn’t believe it was with Robert Sugden. What had the world come to. His hands moved down to pull at Robert’s shirt wanting to take it off, forgetting entirely about where they were and that anyone could walk in at any moment his brain was only focused on one thing and one thing only.

Robert pulled away suddenly much to Aaron’s displeasure. He looked around and realised why Robert pulled away as the door to the changing room opened and Adam poked his head around the door.

“Are you two joining us or what?” He asked giving them slightly puzzled looks and Aaron tried to get his breathing back under control hoping he looked composed enough that Adam didn’t get suspicious.

“Yeah.” He nodded and Robert moved quickly to stuff his belongings into his locker since he was already changed. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.” He said pulling his kit out of his bag and indicating that Adam should go on.

Robert barely even glanced at him as he followed Adam out of the door and Adam pulled his shirt off to get changed. After that he almost felt like he needed a cold shower. He shook his head to get his mind out of the gutter, he would have to concentrate on training. However, after what had just happened he felt like he almost needed a cold shower. It was going to be one of the more difficult training sessions of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how this took me! Work got hectic and the news of Ryan's departure threw me off. Anyway here's the new chapter and I hope to update the next one soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know the most recent world cup wasn't in Germany and the ages might not match up exactly but work with me here. I also didn't want to specify which club teams they play for because it's not really relevant just assume they're rival clubs.


End file.
